Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
