Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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