how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
