I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
