My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we're so committed to being not committed
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
