Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
