Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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