I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I cockslap morals
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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