I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
