dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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