Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
