Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
