Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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