ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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