Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
