I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
