one two three fourrrrnication!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What a dumb baby whore.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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