So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
