Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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