You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
