Already got asked if we're dating
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
