they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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