Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
