yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
