I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
