We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
