so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
