$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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