you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
