I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
