Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
