There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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