Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize