Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
