dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i now understand why vodka
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
