Where did you get a picture of my penis
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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