Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize