OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
