she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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