I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
