Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't deserve a penis
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
