I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
