Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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