No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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