she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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