Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
