As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
