she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
