i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
