Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
