the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
