just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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