Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
