I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
