is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
