I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
