I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
