oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
