2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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