Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
