Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
