Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize