pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Boobs are out for the taking
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
