what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
