Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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