8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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