I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
