oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
