My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
