due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
