No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
