he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
