Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
