I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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