Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
